November 23rd. Old Town Hares  7, POPPS A  2 . No further details as I was in the wilds of Cambodia at the time. 

December 14th.  POPPS A 4, Halifax Lions 5. 

A topsy turvy, exciting, awe-inspiring (or was it ‘oh, uninspiring?) match.

Other teams players came from miles around to watch, and even had the audacity to interupt play and ask the scores ! The cads.

Peter Mc played first but was immediately devoured by Lion Ben 3-0. Then Terry A was eaten up slowly by Lioness Chie who twiddled incessantly with her flat side up and down (jargon for ‘played well’)

So things looking black — we are 2-0 down already.

However our Great White Hunter John T comes to the rescue and slayed Lion John in an inspired performance.

Now 2-1 to them.

Terry then revives and has a convincing 3-1 victory over No 1 Lion Ben, followed by Peter who comes back from the dead with a 3-2 win over Lion John.

Now 3-2 to us !

Unfortunately it is now John’s turn to be gobbled up by the Lioness, but Terry comes back immediately to make mincemeat of Lion John , 9-0, 9-2, 9-4.

Now 4-3 to us. Isn’t it exciting !!!

But a story book ending was not to be (for us anyway). Both John and Peter were rolled over in the last 2 matches and crushed by the Lion Ben and the Lioness Chie respectively.

Result, a 5-4 match win to the Lions.

We did try but were unable overcome watching the long lean legs of the Lioness when her track suit bottoms were removed during the match. We should have kept our eye on the ball !

POPPS ‘B’ WIN AGAINST THE ODDS
Monday December 14 at the Chapel, Old Town

The last time Popps ‘B’ ventured into the wilds of Old Town, they were incorrectly directed to the wrong venue by a mistake in the handbook. The resultant cold wait did not help their performance as two members phoned round to find where to play, sitting in cold cars on a freezing night wondering if they were going to be eaten by werewolves. This time, we have the advantage of knowing where we were going. As for the OT Robins, they finished 2^nd to bottom in last year’s league, so we knew we could proceed with cautious optimism. In addition, none of our team, John Mitchell, Terry Wassall and Robin Thomas had been on the shortlist for BBC TV Sports personality of the year, so had not been involved in a boozy night at Sheffield over the weekend. John has of course lost a number of lucrative sponsorships after going off the rails, but that would not affect his game tonight.

In the event, we had to play with 2, as something untoward must have affected John and he was not able to get there. Would Terry & Robin be able to win 5 out of 6?  In the words of B. Obama, yes they could!

Terry started off against Jo Sweeny, wondering whether he might have to play all 9 matches himself. Things were balanced initially and the first game went to an unprecedented 15 all, when Terry managed to hold it together to win 18-16. He started slowly in G2 and was down at 6-7. However, a new steadiness has entered Terry’s strategic approach and he edged ahead to win 11-9. Jo roared off to 5-1, only to allow Terry to level at 5-5. It was still level at 11-11, but a couple of useful shots took him to 13-11 and 3 nil victory.

Robin then took on Declan Sweeny. Yes, TT is a family game in these wild hills, where inter-breeding is rife. Robin won the first game 11-9, but after a mini-marathon, Declan squeezed the second game at 18-16. Things steadied down in the remaining games, which Robin won 11-4 and 13-11. Robin’s occasional spin serve worked quite well and the pressure of knowing we had to win 5 out of the 6 games, may have added focus. Terry was now back on the table against  Phil Dean, winning 11-8,11-9 and 12-10, having to come back from being 4 down in the last game.

Robin continued his good form against Jo. Despite finding the floor surface a bit like Dancing on Ice, he developed a Robin Cousins-like facility to control his movements to win 3-1. Jo won the third game 11-9, but Robin won 11-5, 11-8 and 11-7. Jo’s forehand smash was effective but did not work all the time.

POPPS needed one more set to register a famous victory over the odds and Terry took on Declan in a confident manner. He moved to 7-3, Declan pegged him to 7-5, but fell away as Terry cruised to 11-6.  Declan executed some useful b/h flicks, but couldn’t stop Terry moving to 11-8. In G3, Declan lost concentration as Terry eased ahead to an 11-4 win.  I’m not saying it was cold in this ancient chapel, but full track suits were kept on at all times, so there were no revealing strip teases. Phil, whilst scoring, wore some black leather gloves, looking a bit like a Black Panther at the Olympic Games at Mexico.  

The last set, between Robin and Phil was a bit of an anti-climax as Robin could not deal with some   useful smashes from Phil, who won 12-10, 11-9 and 11-3.

Our hosts were very hospitable, providing drinks and biscuits during the match. The fact that we were one short meant that Declan was able to scoff the last of the ginger nuts, which could have explained his below par performance in his final game as his gut bulged with ginger biscuits. As usual, the game was played with great sportsmanship and Terry and Robin disappeared in their different directions on that chilly night through the country byways, in the proud knowledge of a famous victory in the wild hills of Calderdale.

Sowerby 2 were reputed to have recruited an experienced Chinese player to their team, but it turned out he was an experienced Chinese restaurant attendee. We also had Terry A recovering from a bad cold which had kept him away from the Tuesday morning Table- Tennis-Pie and Mushy-Pea-fest which Alan had laid on for the Leeds contingent. Would he be able to deliver his usual high quality game whilst attached to a drip?

Again, as we have to cover 9 games, I will comment selectively. The first game between Terries Wassall & Allington, against Andrew Garnett and Jonathon Monaghan set a pattern which was roughly followed through the match. We knew we had to win by around 20 points per game. We had a shaky start, with our opponents staying too close and winning the odd fluke shot to take them too close for comfort. However, our boys concentrated hard to move ahead to win 42-21. Terry A & Robin Thomas created the right kind of lead in game 2, beating Andrew & Liz by 42-14. The combination of Terry W and your team secretary seemed the least reliable and they allowed Liz/Jonathon 29 points in G3. Jonathon achieved some good smashes while we tried to hold it together. At this point we were behind schedule, which stayed roughly the same in G4 which we won 42-22. G5 saw Terry A/Robin winning by 42-19 against Andrew/Jonathon. Again, after a slow start, it took time for Popps to pull ahead.

G6 saw a good start up to 7-0 for Wassall/Thomas V Andrew/Liz, but they pulled back and eventually Popps won by 42-19.

The 2 Terries probably clinched it (I mean the match, not each other) in G7, after a poor start but kept it steady to move to 42-11 after a bit of a collapse by Jonathon/Liz. Then we had the G8. After some key decisions on the global economy, Popps won by 42-18 to keep themselves on target for a famous victory. As we started G9, I noticed that Andrew’s T Shirt had a picture of Del Boy and the words: ‘What a Plonker!’ on it. I though this was a bit rude. Was he saying we were all plonkers? What is a plonker? Anyway, I digress. Terry and Robin knew they had to prevent Andrew/Jonathon from getting much above 20. This they achieved, 42-18. Andrew tried to throw us by executing some suicidally high returns, inviting the excitable Terry W to put away. He managed to blast a couple of balls into the stratosphere but by the same token, despatched enough with his fearsome forehand to take us to a great victory.

We won in the end by only 9 points, by 378 to 369. So, another good night for the handicapper. As usual, as with most matches not played against Panthers, the match was played in good spirit and Sowerby 3 returned to the wilds of Sowerby, wondering whether their homes had been vandalised by the horrendous hordes of hoodies who terrorise the village, content that they had fought a good fight, but had come across a team who for once had played it steady, with the unusual objective of merely keeping the ball on the table. It could be a winning strategy for future encounters.

Wed 2.12.09 . Old Town Hounds 4 — Popps A 5

2 wins each from Derek and Peter and 1 from John helped us to a narrow victory, despite the fact that they had a “ringer” playing for them from their first team. A return to winning ways was very welcome and caused some singing in the choirs whilst Terry absented himself but performed with the chorus . ( Fact, Terry really is a songbird !! )
Good to see Derek getting back towards his old self after injury.

Mon 7.12.09. Doubles Handicap Plate . Popps A 462 — Panthers 378

To win by 84 points was a great achievement against a first division team, notwithstanding the “few” points start we had. Terry A and John T made an excellent doubles combination and amassed over 30 points in 2 of their games, John matching Terry with a super defensive performance. Peter managed to upset their equilibriums with some naughty (cheating ?? !! ) claims over his misplaced serves. Isn’t all fair in love, war and ping pong ?
Anyway , it worked and with the “few” points start we won every game.

Boast while we can because next week we meet the mighty Lions and after that match we might come home feeling a little “Cowed” !!

POPPS THROUGH TO NEXT ROUND!

This should have been played a couple of weeks ago, but BATS, a 1st Division side, couldn’t raise a team: one member was in custody, one had swine flu and the other was hiding in a wardrobe, waiting for his girl friend’s husband to go to sleep. We refused their offer to concede but approached the prospect of a doubles match against experienced opponents with some trepidation, especially as none of us really know how to play doubles. However, we had a generous handicap and knew we had a chance of winning if we played with care. In addition, we had steady Terry Allington from the ‘A’ team, covering for unavailable ‘B’ team people. This would improve our chances. The other members of the team: Terry Wassall and your team secretary.

There are nine games as all the permutations are used. Each game plays to 42 and the calculations are made after each game on the standings of the two teams in the light of the handicap. Nine matches up to 42 looked like a long night and any video of the match could be considered to be useful as an antidote to insomnia. However, it wasn’t like that and there were exciting moments.

I’m not going to take you through each match, blow by blow, but it is possible to make some observations. BATS were able to punish any loose shots and had a high success rate with smashes. They bamboozled us with the quality of the serves. They also positioned themselves well round the table. Each match showed a similar pattern, tentative at first, then BATS pulling a head to win by normally a margin of 20. There were some good rallies, but essentially were being set up for a well-placed smash by BATS.

POPPS tried to play a steady game, especially Terry A. Terry W had some successful smashes but also some spectacular failures. Robin showed some odd flashes of flair but if you blinked, you missed them

BATS players were quite vocal during the game, with one member constantly admonishing himself with: “Tom: you’re pathetic” and “Ugh!” One member wore a T shirt celebrating the 1993 tour of the band ‘Sky’. Perhaps he needs a new T shirt and some more up to date bands to follow. I recommend Muse and Snow Patrol. But I digress.

Actual scores were 42-18, 42-21, 42-14, 42-15, 42-20, 42 20, 42-34, 42-9, and 42-21. With our handicap of 234, the final score was POPPS ‘B’: 406, BATS: 380.

Don’t ask me how that was worked out. The best game was the 2 Terries V David Bowers and Tom Whitely, when we lost 42-34. Towards the end POPPS lost a bit of concentration as they became more weary and the last game was essentially an exhibition as we had already secured victory by that time. In that game, Terry W and Robin were able to concentrate on style and sheer flair so as to entertain the crowds, while Shaun Forbes (a bit of a dead ringer for DJ and TV entertainer Mark Curry) and David Bowers went for their shots, some of which ended up on the floor.

Overall, the match was played in a good spirit with many touches of humour, but no exciting undressing. Well, you can’t have everything.

NB This means that the B team go through to the next round of the tournament where they will play their division 3 opponents Sowerby B.  The A team went out in the first round when one of their players had to pull out through injury but will get another chance for glory when they play division 1 Panthers in the 1st round of the Plate tournament (for 1st round losers).

Lions finished mid-table last year, above Popps, so we knew this was a fixture which would be a challenge. Then we heard that Joan had gone down with pneumonia! We wish her a speedy recovery. Your team secretary roped himself in, only to find that John Mitchell had to pull out at short notice to deal with domestic illness.

Rather than engage a passer- by to play, knowing it was probably a lost cause, we just played 6 matches and defaulted on three. In the event, we lost the match 6-0 against a young and sprightly Lions team.

Alan commenced against Ben Speak a young man with more hair than the combined Popps membership. He won 11-8, 11-5 and 11-9. Alan’s sensible approach was to try and hang in with steady returns, but Ben’s all round game was more effective, with good attacking shots to finish off points.

Robin against Chie Hick was fairly one-sided. She exhibited an effective penholder grip and executed some complex spin serves. However, your elderly team secretary completely lost his composure when his young opponent removed her track suit top and trousers after G1 was lost 11-5. He gained a few points by directing a fast low serve to her forehand, but his mind had gone, coupled with a galloping pulse rate and a red, sweating face. She won the next 2 games to 6 and 4.

Swiftly back on the table, Alan took on Hannah Kendal, losing eventually 11-9, 11-7 and 11-7. Alan fought well with steady returns, but Hannah’s useful backhand flick gave her the edge when attacking opportunities arose. At one point in G3, Hannah made an excellent smash which Alan unexpectedly returned, only to be defeated by her subsequent shot. Robin then met Ben who had a much better all round game. His side spin serve proved difficult to deal with and he was able to win some useful points with his smash. The match ended 11-5, 11-5 and 11-5 which at least had the merit of consistency.

Alan had a varied match with Chie. Her pen grip produced some useful attacking shots in G1 and she moved to an 11-5 win. Alan was vulnerable to her forehand smash in G2 and sank to 11-3. However, he fought back well in G3 by consistent returns, staying level up to 9-9. However, Chie produced a couple of good shots to finish off at 11-9.

In the final set of the evening, Hannah’s steady play despatched Robin 11-3, 11-3 and 11-3 with a good array of shots and serves. As usual, the match was played in a good spirit. We apologised for not fielding a full side, but in the event, it would not have affected the result. The unexpected bonus of an early finished meant that the remnants of the Popps team could drown their sorrows in the Big Six.