In our last encounter, up in the wilds of Old Town, we scored an easy victory with only 2 players, but would it be the same team? Could they have improved? We were about to find out.

Match 1 saw Robin defeated by Jo Sweeny, whom he had previously defeated. But this time she was a different player, with the benefits of coaching and additional league experience. She has developed a very useful forehand which was fed to on many occasions. She won G1 11-7, but Robin fought back to win the 2nd 12-10. Things went haywire in the remaining games, which she won 11-1 & 11-8, thus setting a pattern for your team sec’s indolence for the remainder of the match.

John Mitchell then took on Phil Dean, moving swiftly to 11-4 in G1. Phil’s smash started to work in G2 and they stayed level for most of the time. John told himself to: “Get over it, you bugger!” which seemed to help as he moved ahead to win 11-8. Phil had a good start in G3, leading 6-2 at one point. John had to struggle to get level and eventually won 12-10, to take the set 3-0.

Derek then played Colin Anker, probably the oldest player there, but deceptively resilient. Derek took time to settle as Colin moved to 7-3, but as he established his length, Derek’s smash started to work and he fought back to win 11-9. Derek removed his track suit bottoms in G2 to show he meant business and the room gasped at this vast expanse of white flesh. He won this game 11-5. A fluke serve helped ‘Legs’ Degs in G3, plus his well-aimed forehand serves going beyond Colin’s reach and Derek comfortably won 11-5 to take the set 3-0.

John Mitchell then had to concentrate on playing Jo, a vision in a designer monochromic blouse, and her improved forehand bamboozled John to win G1 12-10. Your correspondent then had a chance to closely observe Jo’s serve and I think there are grounds for taking this serve to the World TT Court in The Hague, as it appears from a closed hand somewhere below the level of the table. John then told himself to: “Hit it, John”, which is always a good idea in this game. John has a pleasing habit of saying: “ Were you ready?” when he executes a failed serve. However, his game and consistent returns took him to 11-5. Jo seemed to lose concentration in G3 and she went down 11-2. Jo executed some of her trademark forehand smashes in G3, but John was playing with steely concentration and won 11-6, taking the set at 3-2.

Robin managed to win one game against Colin, and placed some effective back hand smashes, but Colin’s consistent, safe play was too strong and he won the set 3-1. Derek started well against Phil, but Phil caught up in the middle, only for Derek to steam ahead to 11-5. I noticed that Derek’s T shirt was dated 1994. However, he assures me that it has been washed since then. Phil smashed well to compete strongly in G2 to win 11-9. In G3, Phil consistently smashed the ball out of Derek’s reach which seemed to dent his concentration. Phil won this game 12-10. Was Derek out of it? We found out quickly as he regained his composure to smash his way to 11-4. This left G5 as the decider. It was level pegging for most of the way, but Phil missed a crucial smash as Derek forged ahead to win 11-7 and the set 3-2.

Before the next match against Colin, John disappeared for a while and we wondered whether he had gone to shot a line of Methedrone. However, he had gone over to talk to an old friend and soon returned to win G1 .Colin demonstrated a safe defensive game, but was not able to defend John’s frequent attacks. Colin defended hard in G2, but John prevailed at 12-10. But Colin was not going to roll over and in G3, produced some good smashes. John appeared to be running out of steam and Colin won 11-5. He won the next game 11-9 to set up an exciting climax. (We all need those from time to time). John told himself:

“Oh, come on, hit the ball”, again sensible advice and the match remained close up to 7-7. Then John put together a useful attack to win the game 11-7 and the set 3-2.

Derek then took on Jo, hoping that his muscular, thrusting thighs would faze her. He produced some good smashes, but so did Jo. He suffered minor loss of concentration, but regained it to win 12-10. Derek pulled himself together in G2 with a useful final smash to take him to 11-4. Both executed a throw away serve in G3, but Derek’s experience and greater consistency, plus a useful final smash, took him to 11-6,to win the set 3-0.

The final set, between Robin and Phil did not last long and if you had blinked you could have missed it as Robin gradually lost the will to compete. With a weak defence he had to use his weak attack and hit many balls into the ceiling, the crowd, the café, any where but on the table as Phil cruised to 11-3, 11-3 and 11-5.

Overall, Popps won the match 6-3 and as usual it was played with good humour and sportsmanship. Old Town Robins had improved on their previous performance and would feel satisfied as they motored back to the purple moors and winding country roads of Old Town, the peace of the night only being broken by the distant cries of a newly born lamb and the sound of swarthy drunken Yorkshiremen being thrown out of the Hare & Hounds, whilst singing a song about Ilkley Moor.