Popps ‘B’ V Marsh Conservative Club. Tuesday 10 August 2010
Teams: Marsh: Adrian Normanton, John Schofield, and Robert Woodward (borrowed) Popps: Terry Wassall, Dennis McGuinness, Robin Thomas.
Your correspondent was not present at our first encounter with Marsh, did not write the report and was not able to make the usual stereotypical comments about the political colour of our opponents. Did they practice under a big poster of Margaret Thatcher? Did they indulge in fox hunting through the streets of Huddersfield? Were they all public school toffs, used to roasting boys over the prefects’ fire? We will never know. What we do know is that they beat us fairly easily last time and would probably do so again. In addition, they turned up one short and commandeered Robert Woodward, a not inexperienced player, to make up their numbers. In the event Adrian stormed into an early lead against Dennis, with some big smashes while Dennis tried to get used to Adrian’s style of play. 11-1, followed by 11-1 as one sensed that Dennis was beginning to feel intimidated. However, he was returning serve and contributing to long rallies, only to lose the crucial point. Points were hard to come by and Adrian benefited from a couple of flukes to wind up G3 at 11-4.
Robin then met John (not John Schofield, the great US jazz guitarist). He won 11-1, 11-5 & 11-4, wearing an arm bandage which may have contained some sophisticated electronics to allow him to receive coaching while he administered a comprehensive defeat. Terry had by then arrived and was pushed into service against Robert. He allowed Terry to make mistakes, returned most shots and goaded Terry into a number of risky attack shots which missed the table. He won G1 11-2, but in G2, Terry played better and won more smashes to lose 11-5. Terry executed a useful forehand smash in G3, followed by a wild back hand as Robert cruised ahead, to win 11-4.
Dennis then reappeared to take on John. He struggled to handle John’s serve, had a couple of good forehand attacks, but could not prevent John moving to 11-3. G2 ended up at 11-4 to John, but did not reflect the balance of the game which included some longish rallies as Dennis mastered John’s serve. However, after 5 or 6 shots, Dennis would make a mistake and lose the point. John won G2 at 11-4 and cleaned up G3 at 11-3, having executed some useful smashes.
Adrian V Terry was more balanced than the previous matches and both players won some useful attacking points. Terry’s smash (sounds like a chocolate flavoured potato powder) was beginning to connect, but Adrian was playing the steadier game and moved to 11-8. Terry was beginning to deal with Adrian’s serve, but threw in a couple of brash smashes, allowing Adrian to win G2 11-6. In G3, Adrian moved ahead with a useful back hand, then fluked a shot. Terry got a couple back with his lightning reflexes (who writes this stuff?) but the inevitable took place as Adrian smoothly moved to 11-6.
Robin then found himself against the experienced Robert, who patiently allowed him to make mistake after mistake as he reeled off 11-3, 11-5 and 11-3. However, it was a useful training exercise.
The next match was a John Terry encounter, so lock up your daughters! Terry tried to hit himself out of danger as frustration allowed John to win 11-2 in G1. Terry played more effective table tennis in G2, with his back hand working well early on. However it was not consistent and John won 11-5. Terry seemed to be losing the will to live as he tried to hit anything that moved, but John stayed calm to win 11-3.
In an other exhibition match, Dennis took on Robert. Dennis looked like an advert for Orange phones as he scampered after shots, showing excellent mobility for a man who remembers Queen Victoria’s coronation. He kept his concentration, produced some cunning serves and lost 11-7. However, Robert tightened up his game and won G2 11-3. Dennis contributed to some entertaining rallies in G3, but again, lost crucial shots to allow Robert to build up a big lead. Dennis produced a mini-fight back to bring it back to 11-5.
Robin scored the only winning game of the night for Popps, by winning G3 11-8 against Adrian, resplendent in an all-black outfit and a pair of hot pants which would have looked better on Kylie Minogue. Adrian won the first two comfortably by 11-5 & 11-4, but Robin produced some fast services which, unusually for this league, Adrian found frustrating to deal with and squandered his returns. However, normality returned in G4, which he won 11-8.
So Marsh Conservative Club took the match overall 9-0. Popps had some moments of class but if you blinked you missed them. Robert Woodward gave a master class in steady defensive play and overall, the match was played in an atmosphere of good humour and bonhomie. Will Marsh Conservative Club now be renamed as Marsh Coalition Club? Will they ask George Osborne to restore proposed cuts in funding for table tennis? Answers on a post card to Alan Dickinson.