For POPPs B first match of the Summer League season they faced up to Spartans, a division 2 team in the normal season. Their full team did not turn up so Steve Hanson and Rod Veal were joined by Joe Broadbent from the Rams team. The POPPs B contingent was made up of two new members, Tom Sunderland and Alwyn Kershaw, and regular B team player Terry Wassall who acted as captain for the night.

As expected, it turned out to be a tough night for POPPs. Tom started proceedings by taking on Steve and lost in 3 games, 9 -11, 5-11, 3-11. Steve countered Tom’s  patient pushes by pushing back so some fairly long rallies ensued. Every now and then one or the other would sense an opportunity to attack and play a more aggressive shot, Steve getting a higher percentage on the table and generally looking more comfortable in attack than Tom. Alwyn then took on Joe and got off to a steady start by losing the first game 7-11. However, his accuracy and consistency improved in the second to take it 11-5 aided by a fair number of ambitious backhand smashes from Joe that rarely connected with the table. Joe steadied down in the 3rd game and played more conservatively but Alwyn’s game continued to improve taking the game to 10 all but unfortunately just couldn’t press home his advantage to win it, losing 10-12. Joe then won the 4th fairly easily 5-11 to take the set 3 games to 1. Terry then played Rod to complete the first 3 sets winning 3 games to nil, 11-1, 11-8 and 11-7. Terry was always fairly comfortable and was probably helped by the fact that Rod was playing with a new set of rubbers and was still getting used to them. Apparently he had to change them as the previous rubbers were declared illegal by having the wrong sorts of pimples. I’m amazed that the Pimple Police spotted this but no doubt some ultra-competitive barrack room lawyer spotted them, measured them with a micrometer and found them to be a nanothingy too long (or short, or wide or simply unseemly in some respect). 

This was to prove POPP’s only win of the evening. Alwyn lost to Steve in 3 straight games who was playing better as the night progressed. Tom lost to Rod in 3 games despite keeping in touch for the first 2 games and taking the 3rd game to 10 all. This turned out to be an excellent game with some remarkable rallies mixing attack with defense and the momentum swinging either way. Rod took the game 14-12 and the set 3 games to 1. Terry’s match against Joe was swiftly and efficiently lost 3 games to nil. The first 2 games looked as if he had a chance getting to 8 all and 9 all in each but this was thanks to some ambitious attacking shots that caught Joe by surprise on a number of occasions. However, Joe had the trickiest serve of the night and produced a bamboozeler whenever he was in a bit of a tight corner and went on to win both games without conceding another point. The third game was a formality as Terry became even more ambitious, flailing out in all directions. This tactic certainly produced the most spectacular winning shots of the evenings. However, after each spectacular winner, 2 or 3 further points had already been lost even before the applause had died. Joe took the game 11-5 and the set 3 games to nil.

The last 3 sets continued the pattern. Alwyn lost to Rod in 3 straight games despite leading in all three. On each occasion Rod dug in and just got everything back until Alwyn made a mistake. The last game went to 10 all with Rod running out the winner 14-12. Terry then took on Steve, again losing in 3 straight games. The second game was very competitive with neither player making a conclusive break. The game was level pegging all the way up to 15 all when Steve took the final points to win 17-15. Finally Tom played Joe who won in straight games.

In many ways this was a satisfactory evening. The match was played in good spirits and we had quite a few laughs. This is primarily what the Summer League is all about. We all acquitted ourselves reasonably well against better and more experienced opposition. Tom and Alwyn both improved aspects of their play throughout their games and with a little more experience and confidence will be converting more of their close games into wins rather than near misses. We all need to learn that patience and playing within our limits is probably the secret to success at our level. This is a lesson I have not learnt over 2 seasons so far and probably never will.

Not knowing the Handicap allowance till the end of the match made it quite exciting.

Peter Mc Started the battle with a hard attacking effort against David Blackburn.Davids retrieving from 20′ back was amazing and eventually won him the game 42-30 — still a satisfactory start for Popps.

John T. had a similar result against Brian Chapman going down at 42-29.

Terry A. then revealed himself (!) and had an easy win against Steve Caufield 42-24.

Peter lost 41-32 to Brian C but then Terry came on against Dave B in what was to be the Match of the Season. In a 3 hour Epic and after 24832 strokes Terry finished up the victor at 42-39, a fantastic performance by both players.
The aggregate score at this stage was Suma 188 Popps 175 — Popps seemingly in a strong position.

Popps continued in a similar vein over the last 4 sets — Terry completing his 100% record against this high flying Div 2 opposition, with Peter and John doing their best in the other games.

Popps thought the match was theirs with a mere 53 points deficit.
However when the ballot box was opened and showed only a 45 point allowance, Suma came out victors by the narrow margin of 8 points !!

We have to congratulate Suma on the way they stuck at it, particularly David when he had to win by a big margin to clinch the match.
So the singles season comes to an end and our gradual improvement unfortunately came to the attention of the handicapping committee just too early ! We can’t hide our light under the bushel forever !

Well done all who have played in the Popps A team this season, those who played tonight, also Derek and Alan who have made equal contributions.
And a special mention to Terry Allington who must be undoubtedly be Halifax’s emerging “Star of the Season”

P.Mc

POPPS ‘B’ v Old Town Hares Handicap Doubles QF played at the HX Centre, Tuesday March 30 2010. Popps B lost by 26 points.

In the first round, POPPS ‘B’ defeated Div 1 Batts, courtesy of probably a fairly generous handicap. In round 2, they met a side lower than themselves in the league, Sowerby 3 and had to win whilst conceding a reasonably generous handicap to them. Our quarter final opponents, Old Town Hares, are riding high in Division 3 and will need to give us a start. But we have the consistent (and persistent) Terry Allington on board to help us keep a steady ship. The other crew mates are a more volatile group, the occasionally suicidal attacker, Terry W, and your team secretary, known to lose his composure for any excuse, like losing a point. However, in doubles a group mentality emerges and as in English public school novels, one hates to let the side down. So we shall see how things worked out.

Popps would have to achieve an average of 25 points per game to be in with a chance and it was clear from G1 between our 2 Terries and Hares team: Simon Rothwell & Cliff Eden, that such a target would be difficult. They moved to a swift lead and people found Cliff’s fiendish serve hard to read. There were some good rallies. Terry W won some effective smashes, but missed others and Terry A’s legendary steadiness could not prevail. Hares won 42-18.

Simon appeared to be sponsored by Carlsberg, but the 15 pints of Special Brew consumed before the match did not appear to affect his game. The letters RBK on his shirt suggested a love affair with Robbie Keane, a player who completely failed at Liverpool. Simon appeared to be wearing Robbie Keane football boots, and for all I know, a Robbie Keane autograph jock strap.

Terry A & Robin Thomas came together for G2 V Simon & Phil Ward, who cruised to a 42-22 win.Terry’s job was to protect himself from the inevitable smash given to Robin’s shots and we did well to achieve 22. G3 saw Terry W and Robin V Cliff/Phil. Robin managed to vary his serve to occasional good effect and Terry executed some smart returns under pressure, but we still went down 42-17.

At first sight, Cliff appeared as a sort of TT Peter Crouch, towering above the other Hares and over his opponents. Close inspection of his muscular frame and powerful head, fashionably clipped, saw a closer resemblance to Lawrence Dallaglio, the World Cup Rugby legend. Either way, he brought an intimidating presence to his game.

G4 saw the Terries V Simon & Phil. Popps started well, but Hares caught up at 7-7. Phil howled like a banshee at one point and Popps levelled at 15. Would a win be possible? They were being caught out of position, a sort of John Terry syndrome and Hares moved ahead with some effective forehand smashes from Phil. A shambolic serve from Terry W led to a defeat 42-36, a much more creditable performance.

Terry A & Robin were even closer in G6, losing 42-40 to Simon & Cliff. Robin produced some useful back hand flicks and Terry remained steady, while the concentration of Hares seemed to dip.

During G7, it was noticeable that Hares were adopting a new receiving stance, with one player standing immediately behind the receiver, like an evil shadow so that it wasn’t always clear who you were supposed to be serving to. The 2 Terries tried to keep in touch with Cliff & Phil, but Cliff’s varied serves won them many points. They changed ends at 20, a bit like taking part in a sex marathon, but it didn’t change the outcome, with Hares progressing to 42-18. Phil was dressed like an ageing hippie, with an old pair of jeans, some vintage trainers and a faded pink shirt from, it said, the Battle State 62 (Toxteth, Brixton, Beirut ? we’ll never know)

In contrast, the prize for best dressed player, not just for this match, but possibly for the whole of the HX league or indeed the UK league, went to Cliff, with neatly pressed matching, colour coordinated black top and shorts, with a natty white stripe and the logo ‘Donic’, plus expensive monogrammed trainers. In his bag he has 15 top grade bats an inexhaustible supply of rubbers. Well you know what TT players get up to these days.

The match rumbled to its inevitable end with Terry A & Robin going down 42-17 to Cliff & Phil, while in the final game Terry W & Robin finally ran out of steam to slump 42-13 in what turned out to be a procession.

This led to an early finish, a relief to our visitors who needed to swiftly get back to the wild hills of Old Town before the village sinks into late evening chaos, with manic wild animals on the road and wild women being thrown out of the pubs. At this time of night, wolves howl at the moon, cattle moan restlessly and sheep run maniacally along the hills. Woe betide a fit young table tennis player (like Phil ??) alone in the village at throwing out time where he could be set upon by hordes of buxom young milk maids and shepherdesses, clad in mud-stained dresses from a bygone age, with laddered stockings, acne and ex-army suspender belts singing, vomiting and checking their emails on their blackberries.

As usual, the game was played with good humour and Hares now go onto greater things in the s semi-finals.

Popps A 420 Panthers B 375

Our top doubles partnership, Terry Allington and John did not get off to their usual good start, only managing 15-42 in the first game. We feared the worst against the First Division team who had Robert Wood, James Foster and Matthew Stevens playing for them.

With Peter Mc suffering from tennis elbow (bad !), John with gastro enteritus (really spelt “the sh—s)and lack of sleep (volunteers wanted to do the washing) Terry had to be in top form to carry the others. He did not relish the task (particularly with his fine sense of smell) but nevertheless he took up the challenge inspiring both Peter and John to greater heights.

We actually won 3 games and had the match tied up before the last sets, winning by an impressive 45 points.

p.mc.

In our last encounter, up in the wilds of Old Town, we scored an easy victory with only 2 players, but would it be the same team? Could they have improved? We were about to find out.

Match 1 saw Robin defeated by Jo Sweeny, whom he had previously defeated. But this time she was a different player, with the benefits of coaching and additional league experience. She has developed a very useful forehand which was fed to on many occasions. She won G1 11-7, but Robin fought back to win the 2nd 12-10. Things went haywire in the remaining games, which she won 11-1 & 11-8, thus setting a pattern for your team sec’s indolence for the remainder of the match.

John Mitchell then took on Phil Dean, moving swiftly to 11-4 in G1. Phil’s smash started to work in G2 and they stayed level for most of the time. John told himself to: “Get over it, you bugger!” which seemed to help as he moved ahead to win 11-8. Phil had a good start in G3, leading 6-2 at one point. John had to struggle to get level and eventually won 12-10, to take the set 3-0.

Derek then played Colin Anker, probably the oldest player there, but deceptively resilient. Derek took time to settle as Colin moved to 7-3, but as he established his length, Derek’s smash started to work and he fought back to win 11-9. Derek removed his track suit bottoms in G2 to show he meant business and the room gasped at this vast expanse of white flesh. He won this game 11-5. A fluke serve helped ‘Legs’ Degs in G3, plus his well-aimed forehand serves going beyond Colin’s reach and Derek comfortably won 11-5 to take the set 3-0.

John Mitchell then had to concentrate on playing Jo, a vision in a designer monochromic blouse, and her improved forehand bamboozled John to win G1 12-10. Your correspondent then had a chance to closely observe Jo’s serve and I think there are grounds for taking this serve to the World TT Court in The Hague, as it appears from a closed hand somewhere below the level of the table. John then told himself to: “Hit it, John”, which is always a good idea in this game. John has a pleasing habit of saying: “ Were you ready?” when he executes a failed serve. However, his game and consistent returns took him to 11-5. Jo seemed to lose concentration in G3 and she went down 11-2. Jo executed some of her trademark forehand smashes in G3, but John was playing with steely concentration and won 11-6, taking the set at 3-2.

Robin managed to win one game against Colin, and placed some effective back hand smashes, but Colin’s consistent, safe play was too strong and he won the set 3-1. Derek started well against Phil, but Phil caught up in the middle, only for Derek to steam ahead to 11-5. I noticed that Derek’s T shirt was dated 1994. However, he assures me that it has been washed since then. Phil smashed well to compete strongly in G2 to win 11-9. In G3, Phil consistently smashed the ball out of Derek’s reach which seemed to dent his concentration. Phil won this game 12-10. Was Derek out of it? We found out quickly as he regained his composure to smash his way to 11-4. This left G5 as the decider. It was level pegging for most of the way, but Phil missed a crucial smash as Derek forged ahead to win 11-7 and the set 3-2.

Before the next match against Colin, John disappeared for a while and we wondered whether he had gone to shot a line of Methedrone. However, he had gone over to talk to an old friend and soon returned to win G1 .Colin demonstrated a safe defensive game, but was not able to defend John’s frequent attacks. Colin defended hard in G2, but John prevailed at 12-10. But Colin was not going to roll over and in G3, produced some good smashes. John appeared to be running out of steam and Colin won 11-5. He won the next game 11-9 to set up an exciting climax. (We all need those from time to time). John told himself:

“Oh, come on, hit the ball”, again sensible advice and the match remained close up to 7-7. Then John put together a useful attack to win the game 11-7 and the set 3-2.

Derek then took on Jo, hoping that his muscular, thrusting thighs would faze her. He produced some good smashes, but so did Jo. He suffered minor loss of concentration, but regained it to win 12-10. Derek pulled himself together in G2 with a useful final smash to take him to 11-4. Both executed a throw away serve in G3, but Derek’s experience and greater consistency, plus a useful final smash, took him to 11-6,to win the set 3-0.

The final set, between Robin and Phil did not last long and if you had blinked you could have missed it as Robin gradually lost the will to compete. With a weak defence he had to use his weak attack and hit many balls into the ceiling, the crowd, the café, any where but on the table as Phil cruised to 11-3, 11-3 and 11-5.

Overall, Popps won the match 6-3 and as usual it was played with good humour and sportsmanship. Old Town Robins had improved on their previous performance and would feel satisfied as they motored back to the purple moors and winding country roads of Old Town, the peace of the night only being broken by the distant cries of a newly born lamb and the sound of swarthy drunken Yorkshiremen being thrown out of the Hare & Hounds, whilst singing a song about Ilkley Moor.

Lions 5 Popps A 4

Terry Allington continued with his amazing form winning all 3 sets in 3.
His defensive strategy and cunning block shots were unbeatable. It was as if he had got the rabbit hypnotized in his headlights !
On the other side of the spectrum Peter Mc was lack-lustre and turned victory into defeat several times loosing all 3.
Meanwhile John Taylor did his best and won 1 of his in 3 straight .
Credit to Lions who are a great set of youngsters who do great credit to themselves with their responses as well as their games. (Nash, nash !!)

Popps A 9 Northowram MPM 0

Faint hopes of promotion maintained with another good 9-0 win.

Terry Allington, Derek Greenwood and Peter McMullen all played their part in this match which keeps our chances still alive (Till next week when we grapple with the hungry Tigers once again !! )

Popps A 9 O.T.Hounds 0

Popps A kept their faint hopes of promotion alive with this result, not dropping a game in the whole match.

This was a creditable performance and shows the continuing improvement of Popps; we just managed a 5-4 victory in the prevous encounter.

John Taylor, Terry Allington and Peter McMullen all scored a max. 3 wins.
Our opponents, Derek Williamson, John Coneron and Rose Tipton were all gracious in defeat but would all do much better if they had our coaching and practise. Also if they did not have to rush their games to get home to feed the dog/cat/goldfish etc. !!!

Lions are one of the contenders for winning the division this year so POPPs B expected a tough night and so it turned out to be. Terry W, John M and Alan W of POPPs took on Ben Speak, John Tallis and Hannah Kendal and generally gave a good account of themselves with 4 sets going to 5 games. The match took rather longer than usual partly because of the flip chart scoring system (it is rumoured Alan hid the electronic scoring consuls because of a children’s event earlier in the day) and partly because Lions team members kept disappearing to other tables to play in between their games.

Terry and John got us off to a speedy and efficient start (in terms of time keeping that is) by losing the first two sets 0 – 3. Terry made too many mistakes against Ben due to having difficulty returning serve safely and resorting in the end to aggressive returns and hoping for the best. This kept him in touch but never close enough to fluke a game. John suffered a similar fate against John Tallis although there was some evidence that he was warming to the task toward the end.

Then, as is now customary, Alan produced the set of the night against Hannah. As is usual in Alan’s 5 game sets, he lost the first one – always behind by a couple of points and never catching up. He won the second 11 – 8 after being behind but this time steadying his returns and raising his concentration and consistency. Backing a bit further away from the table he gave himself more room for his heavily chopped returns forcing Hannah to hit a bit harder and make a few more errors. The 3rd game went to Hannah fairly easily 7 – 11, a little surprising as this was mainly due to Alan making more errors than he normally does at this stage of the game. However, he refocused for the 4th game from 8 – 10 down to win 12 – 10. This was aided by an outrageous net shot that teetered on the net cord holding the outcome of the match in the balance. It trickled down on Hannah’s side of the net and kept Alan in the game to go on and win. If it had fallen Alan’s side the set would have gone to Hannah by 3 games to 1.  The final game went to Alan fairly comfortably in the end 11 – 9, always in front and never caught. Hannah hit quite a few returns long in this game probably because Alan was varying his chopped returns with an occasional floated return. These looked pretty much the same as his chopped returns but with almost no backspin.

In his second set against Ben John played some of his best table tennis so far this season, taking him to 5 games. His block returns of Ben’s top spin drives were fast and accurate, and his selection of back and forehand attacking shots was spot on.  After losing the first game 8 – 11, John won the next two long hard games 12 – 10 and 13 – 11. The intensity and duration of the games were beginning to take their toll however. Before the 4th game, to every one’s horror, John appeared to be taking his top off. In the event he was just mopping his forehead with it but the Lions were very near to conceding the match and beating a hasty retreat. Once order had been restored John lost the 4th game 9 – 11 and, pretty well knackered, lost the 5th game quite quickly 5 – 11.

We will pass quickly over Terry’s speedy defeat by Hannah 0 – 3. It was only when he was 2 games down he realised he had been playing with someone elses bat. Sadly, reverting to his own bat made not a jot of difference.

The next two sets went to 5 games before POPPs lost them both. Alan came up against John Tallis for another hard fought set. After (as usual) losing the first game 11 – 13, he settled down to minimising John’s attacking opportunities. This led to some rather over ambitious and frustrated big hits from John with sufficient of them missing to give Alan the next 2 games 12- 10 and 11 – 7.  John settled in the 4th game to take it 11- 9 so all was on the last. Alan was 5 – 3 up at the change round but then seemed to change his game. Errors crept into the solid defensive shots leading him to go for rather more winners than usual and the game drifted away from him losing 8 – 11 and the set 2 games to 3.

John then took on Hannah and won the first game 11 – 3. No doubt feeling guilty about so heartlessly abusing a young woman, he promptly lost the next game 3 – 11 to even things up. Honour satisfied, he soon got back into the groove and won the 3rd game 11 – 9. By now John was leaning on the table between points. Due no doubt in part to John’s tiredness Hannah went on to win the next 2 games 5 – 11, 3 – 11 and the set 3 – 2.

All that remaind was for Alan to play Ben and Terry to play John Tallis. Ben played his best table tennis of the evening and beat Alan 8 – 11, 8 – 11, 9 – 11. As Alan said, Ben was just too good on the day. Terry lost to John 8 – 11, 3 – 11 and 7 – 11 having particular difficulty in returning heavy side spin serves.

It was a long hard night played in good spirit. POPPs came away feeling they had acquitted themselves well, givne our psoition near to the bottom of the division, and made the Lions team work to win some of the games and sets at least.

March 10, 2010

From past experience, we knew this would be a difficult fixture, but we could only do our best. Like John Terry, we would be playing away, although the pleasures would only involve ball and bat. Our opponents would have the advantage of knowing the table well and would know their way to the venue, always a tricky assignment for city dwellers. Most of the snow had gone as we approached this attractive village, fighting our way through unruly herds of cows, sheep all over the place and crowds of drunken locals outside the pub munching Yorkshire pudding.

John Mitchell commenced against Derek Williamson, who briefly revealed a tanned, honed torso as he removed his track suit top. He started well as Derek adjusted to his serve, but Derek recovered well to take G1 11-9. John started talking to himself, always a sign of frustration, as more of Derek’s back hand smashes worked, taking him to 11- 4. John pulled himself together in G3, with some effective fore hand smashes, to win 11-5. At various amusing moments, Sue’s deep, slightly croaky laugh rang out, like a solitary crow on a hillside. G4 started evenly, but Derek played with care, and with the help of one fluke, won 11-5, to take the set.

Robin couldn’t cope with Don Cameron’s tricky spin serve and returned a large number into the net. He achieved some good back hand returns, but lost G1 11-6. G2 was a little closer, but Don edged to 11- 8. G3 had some exciting rallies, but the result was around the same at 11-6.

By this time, Terry had arrived after another Magical Mystery Tour of the Pennines. He needed to get warmed up quickly, so a massage was arranged with a local 25 stone milk maid, Hortense. In the warm up, a stray shot from Terry nearly turned your correspondent into the Lord Nelson of TT writers. After a tentative start, Sue Allen surged to an 11-5 win. Wearing what looked like cheap moccasins from Asda, she used her spin serve to cause Terry some problems and executed a high proportion of successful smashes to win G2 11-5. In what turned out to be the final game, things were much closer, Terry kept in touch with his usual mixture of breathtaking winners and gut-wrenching failed smashes. Sue performed a spectacularly bad serve and let out a huge roar of disapproval. It reached 11-11, but Sue produced a couple of good shots to win 13-11.

Exhorting himself to wake up, John started with more confidence against Don, using Billy Cotton’s old catch phrase, ‘Wakey, Wakey’, and moved to win G1 11-9, after Don missed the table with a crucial serve. John was now dealing with Don’s serve, and although he missed a couple of smashes, John won G2 11-7. Don fought back well in G3, steadying his game down and executing some effective forehand smashes. John started talking to himself as Don won 11-4. It seemed to work, as did more shouting as John tied up the set 11-6.

Robin then took on Sue who won G1 11-8 with some accurate returns. Robin replied to win 11-9 after some great shots, but in the remaining games could not keep the ball away from Sue’s effective forehand and she won them 11-8 & 11-7. There were some fast encounters, but Sue was too accurate overall.

I couldn’t help but notice that John seemed to be using a grotty old towel he could have stolen from a rabid tramp, but I digress. By this time, Terry and Derek were squaring up for what turned out to be a well fought encounter. Terry’s back hand flick was starting to work, but not all the time and Derek won G1 11-5. Terry smashed well in G2 and Derek was on the wrong end of a couple of flukes which dented his concentration. Terry was having regular drinks of what could have been holy water and won G2 11-6. By this time, your TT correspondent had noticed that Derek played mainly back hand with a strange oriental grip. It worked quite well, but not quite well enough and in G3, Terry edged to 12-10. Derek’s BH deteriorated in G4, while Terry stared to improve the success of his attacks. Derek told himself to wake up, but to no avail and Terry won 11-9, to take the set 3-1.

Sue started well against John, but he fought back to level at 5-5. At this stage John described his game as ‘Tripe’. Sue squealed, John howled and the game eventually went to Sue at 16-14. The match confirmed how effective TT would be on Digital Radio. John surged to 11-6 in G2 helped by some good returns (his) and some bad serves (hers). G3 started with a powerful shriek from John as he continued to play to her strong forehand and she prevailed at 11-6. In G4, we heard Sue crying out ‘Aah!’, while John admonished himself with ‘Nasty!’ It was like hearing two demented hyenas. Though winning 11-9, John denounced his performance with ‘John, you stood there like a prune!’ Sue started well in the decider, but again John fought back to get level. At 8-8, John was beginning to breathe heavily like a veteran film actor in a dimly lit love scene and ran out of steam for Sue to win 11-8 and the set.

The match had been lost by the time Terry met Don, but both continued to play competitive TT. Terry’s smashes started to work as he won G1 11-9. He further went for his shots in G2, but Don also won some good forehand smashes. However, Terry moved to 11-6. By this time, Terry was glugging water every couple of shots, like a marathon runner and Don was able to get back a game, 11-9. In G4, Don missed some smashes while Terry’s percentage improved and he won 11-7. Don had the consolation of winning the best dressed player award, with his expensive trainers, neat blue track suit, matching blue tank top, the outfit completed with an attractive blue and red bat. They are all using them these days.

Finally, Derek beat Robin 11-6, 11-4 and 11-4 using his trademark back hand and a very strange looking serve as he crouched almost below the table to impart some fiendish spin which bamboozled your Team Sec.

As usual, the match was played with good humour and sportsmanship as successful shots were applauded. The team then sped back to civilisation, having lost 3-6.